Emotional Resilience
Emotional resilience is the ability to adapt to stressful situations and cope with life’s ups and downs. Resilience does not eliminate stress or erase life’s difficulties but allows you to tackle or accept problems, live through adversity and move on with life.
How to developed emotional resilience:
Biological and social influences make some people seem more ‘naturally’ resilient than others, but the good news is that everyone can take steps to develop greater personal emotional resilience.
1. Know boundaries. There is a difference between you and the cause of your suffering.
2. Cultivate self-awareness. Take time to tune into your feelings and your body. Name your feelings. Notice when they come and why. Think about what’s helpful and what’s unhelpful to you. Adopt what is helpful and look after yourself.
3. Seek helpful connections. Aim to be with people who are able to listen and be supportive whilst not trying to ‘fix you or solve your issues. Try letting others know what you need and what you find unhelpful. Seek company that helps you feel positive. Friends, family, tutors, a counsellor, a helpline, or a relevant workshop, book, website or training may all play a part.
4. Practise acceptance. Stress, pain and changes are a part of living. It’s more helpful to accept the reality of pain, rather than repress or deny it. This is not about giving up, it is about acknowledging pain, knowing that it comes and goes and that you can survive by looking after yourself, doing what helps, and allowing support from others.
5. Practise mindfulness. Being in the present moment without judgement or avoidance is a powerful, ancient form of healing and resilience building. It takes practice, but reminding yourself to gently come back to the present moment may be really helpful.
6. Expect not to have all the answers immediately. You have in-built healing abilities. Trying to fix things by force may hinder finding your natural balance which may take time.
7. Allow yourself to be imperfect. Making mistakes is part of healthy living. Keep going and don’t be discouraged by ‘getting things wrong. Allow yourself not to do too many things at once and let go of some things you don’t have to do, or that are not your responsibility.
8. Allow others to be imperfect. All of us are fallible. When you are less critical and accepting of yourself, you are more able you will be able to extend this grace to others, and allow them to extend the same to you.
9. Practise self-care. Be aware of and seek out what resources and nourishes you. Make sure you are not ‘running on empty. Inner wellbeing is nurtured by exercising, eating healthily, getting enough sleep, good company, receiving and giving help, fun, relaxation, having quiet time, and avoiding too much alcohol or stimulants.
10. Consider your possibilities and goals, and take realistic steps. Reflect on what is in your power to change and what is not. Aim to accept what cannot be changed and consider what can be. Is there a different way of seeing your current situation? Might there be in the future? What choices do you have? What are your realistic goals? These may be very small to start with. Keep going and don’t give up.
